Before we start debate on love marriage or arrange marriage… let me clear first that personally I am completely against marriage… I mean why marrying when we still have rights to leave someone legally through divorce. And, why not live in relationship when we are loyal to each other. But here we are to talk about marriage if one has to anyhow marry. But before we go one more step I have two small stories to share… One is of Radha and Govind who studied in Delhi University they loved each other and got married later. When they come back to Delhi, they were independent and had no family responsibilities. No one was there to take care of both of them and they never need to take care of any one. So, it was their dream life, but Govind was from a small town and Radha was from Delhi. Culture of their family was different though they had the same cast, but their families customs were different. Radha had a thousand complaints to discuss whenever Govind’s relatives come to meet them. The same way Govind felt whenever he goes to Radha’s home. They both loved each other, but not each other’s family. Now all they settled was to cut off from their families to save their relation. A few months later Govind lost his job due to recession and Radha lost her job the same way. Now they had not much savings. No family support and so they had to go and ask their parents for a help. All they heard was “No.” , unless they do not divorce each other. They ultimately divorced for their child’s future. The son is with Radha now. This couple meets somehow at some places. They waited until their next job and made enough savings and they are now living happily together.
Now another story of Keshav and Nandini is way too different… they had never met before their marriage. They married and lived in a joint family. Where Nandini was an educated yet typical introvert house wife and Keshav was an educated and extrovert guy. He managed to transfer his job to another city so that he could have some more quality time with his wife but he soon get to know that nandini have never been in to kitchen, but was always in to studies. Now these small things like cooking and dry cleaning clothes started bothering him. He anyhow had not that good payee a job to pay bills to order readymade food and dry cleaning of clothes from outside home. He now started feeling depression due to financial status and his family problems and started feeling to get back home. They finally came back to their “Big Joint” family, but from then on Keshav could not love Nandini as he did before they have been to city.
Both the couples are together and living well with their kids.
Now tell me how many of us believe in the story of Radha and Govind… is it possible to not get divorced in family pressure and leaving family for love? Or do you think they divorced and then again get married after a time…
and Keshav and Nandini had left for a new private life and then they came back home. But Keshav did not love Nandini as he did …
Both the stories are true and only the names are changed. In first story I must say that lovers should make their families comfortable with each other, so that they won’t have problems like this… where in second story I must say both the guy and girl should meet at least once to know more about each other, so that they will not have problems after getting married.
No doubt that family would chose the best guy/girl for their child. But, after all the children have to be together so why not let them decide what they feel like. And at the same time even an adult child say more the 21 years , well settled and wise child would defiantly not chose a wrong person for his/her life. But they must meet their families once before marriage and better stay with each other’s family to get to know them more especially when both have a different cast and customs.
Love marriage is best if both the bride and the groom love each other’s family as well and an arrange marriage is no doubt the best Idea, if not only the families but the bride and the groom also know each other.